Posted by: LovelyAnomaly | January 25, 2008

Warp speed

My life has been a dizzy lately.  Fretting about life after May 11th, figuring out soil density problems, or trying to decide what shirt to wear tomorrow (when I haven’t been able to do laundry in over 2 weeks) is really starting to weigh me down.  I didn’t realize it until today when I was in class from 8 to 5, and a meeting from 7-10.

Everything is flashing by.  School will be over.  I haven’t talked to some friends in ages.  I don’t want to miss anything, so I am cramming in all these events and trying to cross things off my to-do list.  I feel that I am distracted and so disconnected from everything.  I don’t know what I want, I don’t listen like I should.  It’s like I don’t even know what’s going on in my own life.  It is just one big blur.

Tonight I stepped out of Newman Hall, glanced at the sky, and saw a shooting star.  It soared right past Orion’s belt.  For as much as I stare at the stars, I can still count the number of shooting stars that I’ve seen in my life on one hand.

I don’t want life to pass me by.  I want to be actively involved.  I want to soak up every detail so I don’t miss the special things (like shooting stars or goofy comments from friends).

But looking back on my life, I am wondering if this has been a trend of mine.  How do I stop hiding?  How do I let people in?

I am throwing this out into the void.  And maybe, now that it’s out there, I’ll actually do something about it.

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