Posted by: LovelyAnomaly | March 26, 2009

ABC should hire me

I have a beef with the show Ugly Betty.

(Is it still okay to use the phrase “I have a beef…”?)

There are probably a dozen or more different things the critics could say about Ugly Betty, but I really only have one that bothers me.

When is she going to lose the braces?!

Let me start my rant by saying this: Braces DO NOT equal ugly.  Let’s erase that stereotype to spare all the awkward junior and senior high school students. 

Anyway.  I had braces for 22 months.  It was painful and annoying, but worth it.  This show has been around for 3 seasons now–the poor girl ought to be done serving her sentence by now, if we assume that she’s been wearing the rubberbands properly and going in for her check-ups.  

If the only reason they’re keeping the braces is to keep Betty’s awkward beauty, there is a way around this.  Because after the braces comes the retainer.  And there are SO MANY possibilities for ongoing awkwardness.

  • Lisping.  No one can talk normally with that stupid upper retainer.
  • Removing the retainer before eating.  You KNOW she’s bound to leave it on a napkin somewhere and gross everyone out.
  • My lower retainer was permanent, and was bonded to my canines.  It looked like I had two giant cavities on those two teeth, and I was constantly asked if they were my grillz (srsly).  Imagine Ugly Betty with dental grillz.  C’mon.  You know this is solid material.  

How can we make this happen, Internet?

Advertisements

Responses

  1. I have had this rant so many times myself.

    If the internet responds to your plea and is able to make it happen, I will help out any way I can.

    I cannot help however with the phrase “I have a beef” because I am hopelessly uncool and never know which slang words are hip and jive.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: