Posted by: LovelyAnomaly | March 26, 2009

ABC should hire me

I have a beef with the show Ugly Betty.

(Is it still okay to use the phrase “I have a beef…”?)

There are probably a dozen or more different things the critics could say about Ugly Betty, but I really only have one that bothers me.

When is she going to lose the braces?!

Let me start my rant by saying this: Braces DO NOT equal ugly.  Let’s erase that stereotype to spare all the awkward junior and senior high school students. 

Anyway.  I had braces for 22 months.  It was painful and annoying, but worth it.  This show has been around for 3 seasons now–the poor girl ought to be done serving her sentence by now, if we assume that she’s been wearing the rubberbands properly and going in for her check-ups.  

If the only reason they’re keeping the braces is to keep Betty’s awkward beauty, there is a way around this.  Because after the braces comes the retainer.  And there are SO MANY possibilities for ongoing awkwardness.

  • Lisping.  No one can talk normally with that stupid upper retainer.
  • Removing the retainer before eating.  You KNOW she’s bound to leave it on a napkin somewhere and gross everyone out.
  • My lower retainer was permanent, and was bonded to my canines.  It looked like I had two giant cavities on those two teeth, and I was constantly asked if they were my grillz (srsly).  Imagine Ugly Betty with dental grillz.  C’mon.  You know this is solid material.  

How can we make this happen, Internet?



  1. I have had this rant so many times myself.

    If the internet responds to your plea and is able to make it happen, I will help out any way I can.

    I cannot help however with the phrase “I have a beef” because I am hopelessly uncool and never know which slang words are hip and jive.

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