Posted by: LovelyAnomaly | April 8, 2009

Don’t make me use my Substitute Teacher voice

These past couple days I’ve been subbing 7th grade.  I can enjoy 7th grade because the kids aren’t as needy as 6th graders, and they aren’t as cocky as 8th graders.  Today, however, I was a 6th grade teacher.

The bell rang, kids went to their lockers to grab their books, and one-by-one made their way into the classroom.

A boy was blocking the door from the other students, and as the kids finally got around him, he’d stick out his butt and kinda shove them aside.  Sixth grade boys are annoying.  Nothing has changed.  I didn’t think too much of it.

Six or seven kids must have gone through the door before I realized what was going on.

He was farting on the students before he let them into the classroom.

I quickly pulled him aside and in my biggest, toughest substitute teacher voice I said, “We don’t fart on students.  It’s very rude.  Don’t do that again.”

And then I walked back into the classroom laughing to myself.  When I woke up this morning I never would have imagined that today would be the day that I’d have to lecture a little boy about NOT farting on his classmates.  Seriously.

(Also:  Becoming a substitute teacher was a great idea.  Hello, blog material.  I was trying really hard not to blog about my breakfast habits or new favorite TV shows.)


  1. Oh man. There is SO MUCH here that I can relate to. And yes, substitute teaching is awesome for the blog!

  2. I totally want substitute teacher stories, breakfast faves, AND new favorite TV shows (probably because I’m getting bored of my granola/yogurt routine and constantly am on the prowl for new TV shows…which, admittedly, I should cut back on)

  3. That is GREAT. My sister can do that too– fart on command. I think it’s amazing.

  4. That is HILARIOUS! I bet that’s one sentence you never thought you’d had to say…

  5. […] April, I had to tell a 6th grader that it’s very rude to fart on other students.  Later, I was certified in wilderness first aid.  Give me some twigs, a ripped […]

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