Posted by: LovelyAnomaly | April 10, 2009

I have been changed for good

You were my first, even though we both never saw it coming.  It started out as a joke, to protect you from that creepy girl at the speech competition.  But we didn’t stop holding hands after the meet was over.   We suffered through algebra homework and track practice.  You taught me how to make the perfect cheese quesadilla in the microwave and how to properly play cricket.  We taught each other how to kiss.  And, damn, we were fabulous teachers.  We both tried to figure out how to handle our dysfunctional families without falling apart around everyone else.  We had written out our plans for the future in the back of an old notebook.  But it didn’t go as planned.  And that’s okay.  Life isn’t like a box of instant mashed potatoes.  Life doesn’t follow step-by-step directions.  You taught me that.

Two years later you came around.  Actually, if I remember it correctly, I was the “cute redheaded girl in the cafeteria”.  Our worlds didn’t collide until later.  And just like with him, we never saw it coming.  And, really, two snow days(in college!)  and a PB&J dinner on Valentine’s day was probably the best way for it to come together.  The first thing you taught me was patience.  Okay, okay… I’m still learning.  But you played a big role.  With you, I learned how to stay up late–thank God, because I never would have survived that semester.  You watched me as I got drunk for the first time, and you handled it pretty well (as my blurry memory recalls).  We motivated each other, challenged each other, supported one another.  But, somewhere along the way, we had lost our flare.  We taught ourselves how to back out of a bad situation gracefully (as graceful as those kind of things can be).  And I think we did okay.

That Thanksgiving break, the heat went out in my apartment.  You listened to me complain, and you taught me how to listen.  I wasn’t expecting another relationship so soon.  But it happened.  You showed me how to handle Chicago roads (Read: drive like a MANIAC).  Oh, and the food.  You may have taught me how to enjoy Chicago food, but I totally schooled you when it came to over-indulging.  It was you who taught me how to handle responsible things like budgeting.  And, thanks to you, I am now an obsessive Q-tip user.  I have pissed you off, and the favor has also been returned.  So I’m learning how to deal with anger without being quite so vindictive.  I failed at that, miserably.  So now I’m just learning how to move on from my mistakes.

And you?  Well.  We may or may not have met yet.  But I have a feeling you’ll come when I least expect it.

Good Friday seemed to be an appropriate day to reflect on the love I’ve experienced.  Each relationship was unique, each left me with something more than what I came with.  There was love in each one, however it was by no means perfect.  Because you see, I still have a lot to learn.

(And, yes.  I quoted Wicked in the title.  I’m so sorry.)



  1. You showed me love. For someone who never felt love growing up, especially from his family, you gave me something that I longed for since childhood. You taught me how not to be afraid of large dogs. Your lessons in plant identification still echo in my head. You showed me the importance of lyrics in music, instead of listening to the sounds. You corrected my grammar mistakes. You stayed up late with me while I worked and kept me awake. It was you that I really learned to enjoy long phone conversations into the early morning hours. You taught me how to enjoy endless texts and emails as we help each other pass the day. You showed me how to enjoy the small things in life. You taught me how to love when I was afraid to love again. You were my best friend and you will always be my best friend.

  2. I am very, very deeply touched by this. Thank you so much for sharing it.

  3. […] bookmarks tagged vindictive I have been changed for good saved by 3 others     newwest13 bookmarked on 04/12/09 | […]

  4. I always thought you learned the most from all your different relationships, collectively…

    But I’ve learned more about How To Be In a Real Relationship from B than all the others combined, I think.

    Well, at least they laid a decent foundation. 🙂

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