Posted by: LovelyAnomaly | August 4, 2009

A hope so bright

Last summer was rough, I won’t even lie about it.  I was unhappy in a multitude of ways–my job, my lack of money, my relationship at the time, my friendships.  The sadness that I had been dealing with was so new to me that I didn’t even know how to express it.  And while I haven’t posted that often this summer, 2008 really suffered from a drought.  The worst of it was August.

I remember this night so vividly; calling out for help on my neglected blog.

The moon was new and the sky was overcast; the entire sky looked black.  Lake Michigan reflected the black darkness.  The nothingness.  I couldn’t see where the water and the sky touched.  It was just a long expanse of black emptiness.  I don’t remember why, but a piece of me seemed to reflect the emptiness, too–just like Lake Michigan.

I think I need a lighthouse.

The fact that I had finally taken the sadness that I was feeling and sort of wrapped it into a ball and tossed it out for the world to see–that was enough.  It was the step I needed to take to make things better again.

It shoots a pain through my heart to hear that another blogger person deserving of love is going through similar struggles.  

I want to offer the right words.  The phrases and fragments of hope that this person might need.  I think back to how I felt last August, and I’m not sure what I would have wanted to hear.  Perhaps what I had needed most was someone to listen.  So we are all here, as a community, to listen.

* * *

This morning my coworker and I went down to the beach to begin our activities for the day.  It was strangely foggy, the brightness of the sun poured a hot white color across the sky.  The lake mimicked the intense white-on-blue color.  I had to squint my eyes to look at it, but the sky and the lake appeared to merge into one long harmonious stretch of bright, foggy white.

And just like a rainbow can explode out of white, I knew deep within my heart that I had so much potential ready to burst within me.  I pushed aside my fears of grad school, my anxiety over being single while my other friends prepare for their marriages.  I looked at my future and saw nothing but goodness.  Nothing but joy.

I hope that someday this anonymous community member can feel the same thing that I felt this morning. 

Advertisements

Responses

  1. I’m glad you’re feeling better this year! I honestly believe that although your twenties are fun, they are some of the most challenging years of your life.

    I hope this blogger realizes that times do change and people will always be there to help.

    • Aww, thank you. The twenties are definitely a challenging time, but we aren’t alone in this.

  2. […] August came, and my summer day camp was over.  I left Chicago with a new sense of hope, but grad school seemed like a terrible […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: